Every time I go to sell something, I start by first thinking: ‘what is in it for them’.
The desires of my clients’ can almost always be collected in to one of the following categories:
- More clients (promise of work beyond this week or next)
- Money / security (profit, revenue, cash, savings)
- Clarity / focus
- Ease / calm
- Organization / Planning
- A badass, brag-worthy brand they feel proud to be associated with
All of these are LEGIT goals and they do make us feel better both as business owners and human beings. But what is interesting about the process of working one-on-one with people, getting to know them, holding their hand through pain and their triumph, exhilarating growth and the despair of not knowing is that…
At the core of this ‘business’ we desire to ‘do right’ there are some fundamental human experiences which stretch way beyond making money and managing our sanity
These experiences, which are all wrapped up in the process of brand building, business growing, and magic making look a bit like…
- Serving / Making a difference
- Creating something beautiful
- Believing in something bigger than ourselves
- Connecting and Belonging (and being liked)
- Pure pleasure or Ego stroking
These basic human desires are inextricably embedded in our entrepreneurial journey.
Sometimes they’re obvious, “I’m in this to save the world in this way” and sometimes they’re hidden amidst unexplainable habits that we’re not quite sure why we can’t kick (hello money blocks) or irrational decisions that take us in directions we don’t really logically want to go (why can’t I just say NO!?)
But regardless of where they come frome, there are a four fundamental points I want to make about these truths:
- Every entrepreneur has a complicated human story behind their business.
- Managing that story is the KEY to the success of your business
- Building a BRAND allows you to rewrite your story in a way that FEELS GOOD
- Feeling GOOD about your personal and professional growth journey makes it a WHOLE LOT EASIER to show up every day, build a tribe and achieve greatness
When I say ‘I help entrepreneurs find freedom and fulfilment by building brands that matter‘ THIS is a huge part of what I am talking about. Sure location independence, financial freedom and any other desirable ‘destination’ is great… but the unexpected and baffling truth that I have discovered (and that my clients discover slowly in their own way), is that actually, it is the process that provides the freedom and fulfilment.
The freedom and fulfilment is in becoming who you have to BE in order to create the life of your dreams fuelled by a profitable brand and business.
We hear all the time that ‘happiness is not the destination, it’s the journey’ – which is easy to dismiss when you’re feeling like your journey is fraught with crashes and fires… and if ONLY you can get THERE (that place that’s ideal because it is fundamentally different than HERE) then EVERYTHING will be ok, right?
Well the truth… The scaly, stinky, gut-wrenching, crying on the floor of the shower truth, is that it truly is the process that gives you the feelings of freedom and fulfilment that you seek.
It’s showing up and taking the reigns of your own destiny. It’s making tough choices that feel like shit at the time but teach you that you ARE capable of adulting. It’s the slow, icky, sticky change from now to then that TRULY feeds you. If you were to just show up there, your happiness quotient would not go up.
This is not only my personal experience AND opinion, it’s also WELL supported by research. The study of ‘positive psychology’ is basically all about what makes us fundamentally happy. The cold, hard, hideous truth is this:
It’s not being skinny that will make you happy, it’s the pride, confidence, and satisfaction you’ll get from finally creating new, healthy, incredibly well-grooved habits and FEELING proud of yourself for that.
It’s not the changing of your introvert nature or finding a way to finally escape all contact with humanity that will make you feel good (sadly, you too introvert, need human connection!) No, believe it or not, it’s the confidence you’ll build by learning how to care for your needs first so you can show up in a way that makes you feel like a bright, highly-functioning, well-loved part of the world.
It’s not learning how to expertly hide more effectively and with less conflict, it’s learning how to feel safe and switched on while shining in your own beautiful way.
It’s not making your first million that will give you the joy, it’s the person you have to become, the fears you have to face, the mountains you’ll have to summit and the confidence and skills you’ll build along the way that will truly give you the deep, abiding bliss you seek.
Great So Now What?
All of these wonderful agony and ecstasy-filled journeys, in my experience they require three things:
- The decisive moment.
- Your ‘WHY’
- A guide.
1. The decisive moment
This is when you finally give-in to what you probably already know, stop seeking the easy way out, and you decide you’re finally willing to endure the terrifying discomfort of change. No matter what.
You decide to side with your growth, instead of your bullshit (although probably very valid) excuses. Sometimes this moment appears at ‘rock bottom’ – when you’re simply so miserable you MUST do something… Sometimes it’s just a slow creeping awareness that you’re heading in a direction you don’t want to go. Whenever this moment comes, YOU have to decide. No one else can do it for you, and no one is going to reassure you that it’s the right one… YOU have to take control and decide through your guts and bones that THIS IS IT.
2. Your Why
Once you’ve made this decision – you have to get CRYSTAL clear about why you care. What is the impact of this change? This reason is usually much bigger than you… it’s your relationship, your family, your culture, those in need, the planet, God… something that you care about way more than you have historically cared about yourself. You will need this reason to be front-and-center while you learn how to care about YOU as much as IT.
3. A Guide
Once you’ve made the choice to chase happy, come what may, AND you know WHY… you’re going to need help. It’s almost impossible to do it alone. Loneliness and isolation are triggers for most people that send them tumbling in the OPPOSITE direction of their growth. Also, will power sucks. It’s not a muscle that grows with use, it’s an expendable resource that gets depleted with almost every decision you make in the day.
Sometimes you simply need to reach out for a word, a hug, and a reminder of your ‘why’. This guide can be a person, a group, a resource like a book or a program… ideally ALL of the above (this is why programs like weight watchers and AA work so well as long as you keep going!) Don’t think that you are ‘stronger’ or ‘smarter’ than every other human on the planet who has ever faced a tremendous transformation. You’re not. You’re a perfectly imperfect human being who needs to feel safe, secure and supported just like the rest of us. The sooner and more often you allow this to sink in, the faster you’ll get there.
Good News, I can Help!
My genius is helping people along this journey of becoming who they need to be in order to build and grow a brand that matters. I have saved you a seat right next to me in our group, so come join us. It’s warm, cozy, safe, supportive, fun and inspiring. We’re here to spot you on the climb you’re about to face. We’re all climbing too – we’re in the sweat and dirt together!
You CAN find freedom and fulfilment through this business.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Inside we’ve got some helpful getting started resources, and a tremendous community to help support you along the way.
Also, check out the Magic Maker podcast, for weekly brand-building inspiration.